Sunday, May 25, 2008

Jacob I have loved, but Esau...

He lists all the reasons he's angry at me.

Valid reasons, that make sense and lend themselves to solid argument. Reasons like bits of leather making up the self flagellating whip I try not to pick up.

I can't tell if we argued, it seems too logical to have been a fight. Though I do know I yelled, yelled his name in gradually louder tones. Like a rising To stop him. To stop him so I could say goodbye. Because I couldn't continue our interaction civilly. I wanted to take off the gloves and get rid of the ref. It's a time to build, but I want to burn. I want to tell him all the reasons I'm angry, I want to destroy him with my fury. But I don't, because I know he can't hear them. It's so unjust, that all the work I've done has brought me to the place where I can take his anger, and know well enough to keep my own.

1 comment:

honkeie said...

Sounds like someone I divorced once. Its hard when no matter what you say or how loud you say it falls on the ears of a closed mind.