Hello! I haven't written on here in quite awhile. I also haven't painted, taken a photo, twisted metal into jewelry, or sown more than a button. It's hard to write. It's hard to be creative. There's so many other things that vie for my attention. Dishes to wash, stores to shop, sites to surf, tv to watch. Who wants to cocoon themselves away with the frustrating solitaire of creativity?

Well, I do. Sort of. Sometimes. I want to tell stories and produce things. I wish there were a way to turn of the critic inside my head. The one who is so hard to outrun. She is on my back and it's rare that the speed of my thinking drowns out her cackling.

Do you know what I think every writer should do? Read. An artist cannot go through the world blindfolded, how can an author not read? I don't understand that. Maybe I can justify this lack of produce as a time of fallow. A time to let crops grow. A time to gather material. Ah, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Press publish. Shut self up. Produce produced.

her complexion is pale with malnutrition,
cheeks and skin painted back to health with a deft hand

perfectly sooted lashes frame deadened eyes

and she pays good money, to ink up the flesh
she just sold to you

Commercial Lust...

Me want the pretty pretties...

http://ifitshipitshere.blogspot.com/2009/07/artist-decorated-brain-buckets-raise.html

I use my bike as my primary mode of transportation. Problem is, I HATE wearing a helmet. I do it. I do it the way that I quit smoking, despite not wanting to. With a helmet like these I may change my tune.

barefoot

In my fancy shoes I tower over his modest height, bringing me from above average to amazon.

"You are not the kind of girl who needs to wear heels"

I slip one off and sink down 4 inches.

"Better?"

"Yep"

"Now all I need is to be pregnant and in the kitchen"

He raises his eyebrows

"You know that saying right?"

"Yeah, I do, I'm just not hungry right now"

hope

will you be..
..the leaf caught
...eyelash blown
....penny tossed
will you be the wish that comes true?

Things I love about New York

An ongoing list...

1) I am 3 blocks away from the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.
2) Bookstores are open till midnight.
3) I can buy a meal (of varying healthfulness) for less than $5.00
4) The huge range of people, allowing for the most horrid and the most beautiful.
5) My students, because they have no idea that they are living in New York City.
6) I am a five-minute walk from a sex store.
7) I can buy the best of anything. Most importantly I can find the best fresh eggs, the best organic frozen food, the best lemon meringue pie, and a wide variety of killer cupcakes.
8) This is where most of my friends live.
9) Riverside park. A statue of Eleanor Roosevelt greets you as you walk in. There is the river if you bear West and swing sets if you know where to look.
10) Central park, each gate is named something different (the children's gate, the engineer's gate, and my favorite the stranger's gate). If you choose the less-beaten path you can convince yourself you're in the woods somewhere far away from all things urban.
11) I don't have to drive to work. In fact, I really don't have to drive anywhere.
12) All the beautiful people in their beautiful clothes.
13) Seeing young aspiring actors perform Shakespeare on a subway train, and break dancers narrowly avoid poles as they somersault down that same train car.
14) One word... non-smoking.
15) My bike has turned this big city into a small town.
16) Locking eyes with a stranger and sharing some moment, enabled by the sheer density of people and the lack of cars.
17) The memories of my father woven through my neighborhood.
18) Novelty is so close. It's just outside my comfort zone, just a subway stop further away than I'm planning to go.
19) This city is made for walking.

good things come to those who wait

She is at about rib height, 5 years old, and bouncing next to me as I stand at my desk.

She points to my chest, and asks.

"What are those?"

"The flowers on my dress, or" -I gesture towards my chest- "these?"

"Those!"

"Um, they are part of my body"

"What are they? Why don't I have those? Why are they so big?

"They are breasts, and you'll have them when you grow up"

"Why don't I have them now? It's not fair!"